Korea is well-known as an IT technology lead. Our major exports include semiconductors, cell-phones, and LCDs or PDPs. Samsung Electronics, LG Display, Hynix are the most popular companies in the area. For electronic devices, you can find things never found in other countries easily. You can even order a special device for yourself in Yong-San Electronic Products Shopping Center.
However, for the software industry, Korea has failed somewhat. You can find a failure in the internet banking systems. Special digital certificates are needed when you want to make a transaction in an internet bank. These digital certificates are easy to use. You can access all of the banks you have an account of with one digital certificate.
A problem is that installing many security softwares are required for you to sign in the banking system. Security is good, isn’t it? However, these softwares are being under suspicion of not having any good effect. I mean, these are just useless for your protection. There are many evidences for this issue including the result of expert tests. Without any proof of protection, it makes people irritated for it takes too long to install these softwares. Sometimes these installed-programs make your computer crazy. Today, my keyboard didn’t work suddenly and I found out that this had been caused by that stupid security program.
As a software developer, I know our banking system is neither effective nor efficient. I hope that this would be fixed as soon as possible.
Edited Version
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Korea is well-known as an a leader in IT technology lead. Our major exports include semiconductors, cell-phones, and LCDs or PDPs. Samsung Electronics, LG Display, Hynix are the most popular companies in the this area. For electronic devices, you can find things never found in other countries easily. You can even order a special device for yourself in Yong-San Electronic Products Shopping Center.
However, for the software industry, Korea has failed somewhat. You can find a failure in the internet banking systems. Special digital certificates are needed when you want to make a transaction in an internet bank. These digital certificates are easy to use. You can access all of the banks you have an account of with one digital certificate.
A problem is that installing many security softwares are required for you to sign in the banking system. Security is good, isn’t it? However, these softwares are being under suspicion of not having any good effect. I mean, these are just useless for your protection. There are many evidences for this issue including the result of expert tests. Without any proof of protection, it makes people irritated for it takes too long to install these softwares. Sometimes these installed-programs make your computer crazy. Today, my keyboard didn’t work suddenly and I found out that this had been caused by that stupid security program.
As a software developer, I know our banking system is neither effective nor efficient. I hope that this would be fixed as soon as possible.
- The grammar of your essay is correct although refrain from using impolite words such as “stupid” and “crazy”. You can use “it can make your computer disorganized and slow” and “caused by the ineffective security program”.
Your essay is actually good. The grammar and syntax is good. Just be sure to pick the right words. Reading a vocabulary book or dictionary may help. =) Keep up the good work! =)
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